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TwitpicWhen Joel’s eating lunch at his desk or in the lunchroom, walk right in, grab a few of his fries, then spill your guts and expect him to respond immediately. Joel lives to serve, and he’s always ready to think about fixing computers, especially yours. When Joel’s at the water cooler or outside taking a breath of fresh air, find him and ask him a computer question. The only reason he takes breaks at all is to ferret out all those employees who don’t have email or a telephone.
Send urgent email ALL IN UPPERCASE. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.
When the photocopier doesn’t work, call Joel. There’s electronics in it, so it should be right up his alley.
When you’re getting a NO DIAL TONE message at your home computer, call Joel. He enjoys fixing telephone problems from remote locations. Especially on weekends.
When something goes wrong with your home PC, dump it on Joel’s chair the next morning with no name, no phone number, and no description of the problem. Joel just loves a good mystery.
When you have Joel on the phone walking you through changing a setting on your PC, read the newspaper. Joel doesn’t actually mean for you to DO anything. He just loves to hear himself talk.
When your company offers training on an upcoming OS upgrade, don’t bother to sign up. Joel will be there to hold your hand when the time comes.
When the printer won’t print, re-send the job 20 times in rapid succession. That should do the trick.
When the printer still won’t print after 20 tries, send the job to all the printers in the office. One of them is bound to work.
Don’t use online help. Online help is for wimps.
Don’t read the operator’s manual. Manuals are for wussies.
If you’re taking night classes in computer science, feel free to demonstrate your fledgling expertise by updating the network drivers for you and all your co-workers. Joel will be grateful for the overtime when he has to stay until 2:30am fixing all of them.
When Joel’s fixing your computer at a quarter past one, eat your Whopper with cheese in his face. He functions better when he’s slightly dizzy from hunger.
When Joel asks you whether you’ve installed any new software on your computer, LIE. It’s no one else’s business what you’ve got on your computer.
If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the monitor and stuff the cable under it. Those skinny Mouse cables were designed to have 55 lbs. of computer monitor crushing them.
If the space bar on your keyboard doesn’t work, blame Joel for not upgrading it sooner. Hell, it’s not your fault there’s a half pound of pizza crust crumbs, nail clippings, and big sticky drops of Mountain Dew under the keys.
When you get the message saying “Are you sure?”"> When Joel’s eating lunch at his desk or in the lunchroom, walk right in, grab a few of his fries, then spill your guts and expect him to respond immediately. Joel lives to serve, and he’s always ready to think about fixing computers, especially yours.
When Joel’s at the water cooler or outside taking a breath of fresh air, find him and ask him a computer question. The only reason he takes breaks at all is to ferret out all those employees who don’t have email or a telephone.
Send urgent email ALL IN UPPERCASE. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.
When the photocopier doesn’t work, call Joel. There’s electronics in it, so it should be right up his alley.
When you’re getting a NO DIAL TONE message at your home computer, call Joel. He enjoys fixing telephone problems from remote locations. Especially on weekends.
When something goes wrong with your home PC, dump it on Joel’s chair the next morning with no name, no phone number, and no description of the problem. Joel just loves a good mystery.
When you have Joel on the phone walking you through changing a setting on your PC, read the newspaper. Joel doesn’t actually mean for you to DO anything. He just loves to hear himself talk.
When your company offers training on an upcoming OS upgrade, don’t bother to sign up. Joel will be there to hold your hand when the time comes.
When the printer won’t print, re-send the job 20 times in rapid succession. That should do the trick.
When the printer still won’t print after 20 tries, send the job to all the printers in the office. One of them is bound to work.
Don’t use online help. Online help is for wimps.
Don’t read the operator’s manual. Manuals are for wussies.
If you’re taking night classes in computer science, feel free to demonstrate your fledgling expertise by updating the network drivers for you and all your co-workers. Joel will be grateful for the overtime when he has to stay until 2:30am fixing all of them.
When Joel’s fixing your computer at a quarter past one, eat your Whopper with cheese in his face. He functions better when he’s slightly dizzy from hunger.
When Joel asks you whether you’ve installed any new software on your computer, LIE. It’s no one else’s business what you’ve got on your computer.
If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the monitor and stuff the cable under it. Those skinny Mouse cables were designed to have 55 lbs. of computer monitor crushing them.
If the space bar on your keyboard doesn’t work, blame Joel for not upgrading it sooner. Hell, it’s not your fault there’s a half pound of pizza crust crumbs, nail clippings, and big sticky drops of Mountain Dew under the keys.
When you get the message saying “Are you sure?”
Posted by joel on July 30, 2004
click the “Yes” button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren’t sure, you wouldn’t be doing it, would you?
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